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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?